Who to Contact or Whom to Contact? Unveiling the Correct Version

Deciding between who and whom is a classic grammar challenge that many professional writers and business communicators face. The difference between these pronouns often creates confusion, especially in formal contexts like emails to executives or academic writing. From my experience as an editor, I’ve seen how a small mix-up can change the voice of your communication and affect how the reader perceives you. The question in the title, “Who to Contact or Whom to Contact,” isn’t just about following rules—it’s about how to apply the right choice with clear understanding. Knowing the origins of the usage, the structure of the sentence, and whether the pronoun functions as a subject or an object helps you determine which form fits best.

In English, the trends are shifting—spoken communication shows more flexibility, but formal settings still value respect for proper construction and syntactic balance. When you identify and replace the wrong words, your writing instantly feels more polished and professional. The rule is simple: use who when it’s the subject, and whom when it’s the object. Paying attention to the context, clause, and referent leads to better comprehension and fewer mistakes. With the right guidance, your work can transform from average to exceptional. Every sentence becomes smoother, every word fits contextually and semantically, and the overall communication reflects strong background, thoughtful usage, and a tone that earns respect.

The Everyday Grammar Dilemma

Let’s start with a quick example. Imagine you’re writing this line in an email:

“Please let me know who to contact for technical support.”

Or should it be:

“Please let me know whom to contact for technical support”?

Both sound fine at first glance, right? That’s where the confusion lies. English grammar evolved in a way that makes “whom” sound overly formal, even though it’s technically correct in some cases.

The truth is, language changes faster than most grammar books can keep up with. What used to be strict rules are now more about tone, formality, and clarity. Let’s unpack how that happened.

Why the Confusion Exists in the First Place

English inherited who and whom from Old English, which used different endings to show whether a word was the subject (doing the action) or the object (receiving the action).

Over time, those endings faded away, but a few stuck around—like him and her, or who and whom.

Here’s the short version:

Role	Pronoun	Example
Subject (does the action)	Who	“Who sent this email?”
Object (receives the action)	Whom	“Whom did you invite?”

But modern speakers rarely think in grammatical terms. They just go with what sounds natural. That’s why you’ll hear people say “Who did you invite?” all the time, even though traditional grammar says it should be “Whom did you invite?”

The overlap between what sounds right and what’s grammatically right is what creates this long-standing confusion.

Breaking Down the Grammar: “Who” vs. “Whom”

Let’s make this as simple as possible.

• Who acts like he/she/they — it’s the subject of a clause.
• Whom acts like him/her/them — it’s the object of a clause.

The Easy Test

If you can replace the word with he, use who.
If you can replace it with him, use whom.

Example 1:

“___ called you yesterday?”
→ “He called you yesterday.”
→ Use who → “Who called you yesterday?”

Example 2:

“You called ___ yesterday.”
→ “You called him yesterday.”
→ Use whom → “Whom did you call yesterday?”

That’s all there is to it. The grammar hasn’t changed—the usage has.

Traditional Grammar Rules You Should Know

While most people lean toward casual usage, it’s still useful to know when “whom” fits grammatically.

In formal contexts (like academic or legal writing), whom still appears, especially after prepositions:

• To whom it may concern
• The person to whom you should address your letter
• With whom you were seen last night

Sentence Diagram Example

Let’s break one down:

“To whom should I send the report?”

• I = subject
• send = verb
• report = object of “send”
• whom = object of “to”

So, “whom” is correct because it’s the object of the preposition “to.”

The Modern Shift: Why “Whom” Sounds Old-Fashioned

In modern English, “whom” has been fading from everyday speech. Most people think it sounds formal, stiff, or even pretentious in casual conversation.

You’re more likely to hear:

• “Who are you talking to?”
  than
• “To whom are you talking?”

Real-World Examples

Here’s how this trend appears in different types of communication:

Context	Common Usage	Preferred Form
Text messages	“Who should I call?”	Who
Business emails	“Please tell me who to contact.”	Who
Academic papers	“To whom it may concern.”	Whom
Job applications	“Let me know who I can reach.”	Who

According to Merriam-Webster, “whom” has been declining in written English for decades. It now appears mostly in set phrases or formal documents.

“Who to Contact” vs. “Whom to Contact”: Real Usage Analysis

So, between “who to contact” and “whom to contact,” which one do people actually use?

Let’s look at some data.

Phrase	Frequency (in writing)	Typical Context
“Who to contact”	92%	Emails, websites, business writing
“Whom to contact”	8%	Legal, academic, or government writing

(Source: Google Ngram & Corpus of Contemporary American English)

Clearly, “who to contact” wins in everyday use. That’s because people value clarity and flow over strict grammar. Even professional organizations like The Associated Press style guide recommend choosing what sounds natural to modern readers.

Professional Communication: Getting It Right Without Sounding Stiff

In professional writing—emails, resumes, business letters—you want to sound polished yet approachable.

If you write,

“Please let me know whom to contact,”
it’s technically correct but may come off as formal or dated.

If you write,

“Please let me know who to contact,”
it’s still clear, natural, and accepted in all but the most formal situations.

Quick Tip:

When addressing executives, clients, or professors, use “whom” only if you’re sure your audience appreciates formal grammar. Otherwise, “who” keeps things friendly and professional.

Matching Pronouns and Verbs the Easy Way

Here’s a foolproof way to check your choice:

1. Replace “who/whom” with “he/him.”
2. If he fits, use who.
3. If him fits, use whom.

Examples:

Sentence	Test	Correct Form
“You should ask ___ for help.”	Ask him	Whom
“___ will lead the meeting?”	He will lead	Who
“To ___ it may concern.”	To him	Whom
“___ is calling?”	He is calling	Who

Practice this trick a few times, and you’ll never hesitate again.

Is “Whom” Still Necessary in 2025?

The short answer: rarely.

Modern editors, linguists, and educators agree that “whom” is becoming optional except in very formal writing.

According to Oxford English Dictionary and Cambridge Grammar, the shift is driven by how people speak—not by grammar rules changing.

Even artificial intelligence tools and autocorrect systems often suggest “who” instead of “whom” because it aligns with natural speech patterns.

Still, there are times when “whom” adds the right touch of professionalism—such as in official correspondence, academic papers, or cover letters that include “To whom it may concern.”

Global Perspective: How Non-Native Speakers Use It

For non-native English speakers, learning the “who vs. whom” rule can feel unnecessary, especially since most native speakers use “who” everywhere.

ESL instructors often teach that “whom” is correct but optional, encouraging learners to focus on clarity and fluency instead.

In International Business English:

• “Who to contact” is nearly universal.
• “Whom to contact” appears mainly in official templates or documents.

This global trend reinforces the idea that “who” is becoming the new default worldwide.

The Psychology of Grammar Choices

Here’s something interesting—language isn’t just about rules. It’s about how words make people feel.

• “Who” sounds warm, direct, and conversational.
• “Whom” sounds distant, formal, and reserved.

That’s why marketers, teachers, and customer service professionals prefer “who.” It builds connection.

In contrast, lawyers, academics, and government officials might stick with “whom” for precision and authority.

So, choosing between them isn’t just grammatical—it’s psychological.

Quick Decision Guide: “Who” or “Whom”?

Here’s a quick-reference chart you can use anytime:

Step	Question	Use
1	Is it the subject of the sentence?	Who
2	Is it the object of a verb or preposition?	Whom
3	Does “him” fit better than “he”?	Whom
4	Are you writing formally (e.g., academic/legal)?	Whom
5	Casual or conversational tone?	Who

Rule of thumb:
If you’re unsure, use “who.”
You’ll sound natural, and 99% of readers won’t notice.

Common Phrases and Expressions

Some old phrases still hang on to “whom” out of habit or tradition.

Common Phrase	Explanation
“To whom it may concern”	Used in formal letters when the recipient is unknown.
“Whom do you serve?”	Archaic phrasing, mainly in literature or religious texts.
“Who am I speaking to?”	Modern, natural phrasing for everyday use.
“Whom am I addressing?”	Formal variation, used in speeches or letters.

Language purists might prefer “whom” in set phrases, but the rest of the world happily uses “who.”

Final Recommendations: Write for Clarity and Connection

So, which one should you use—who to contact or whom to contact?

Here’s the bottom line:

• Use “whom” if your writing is formal or traditional (academic, legal, or governmental documents).
• Use “who” if you’re writing for clarity, connection, or modern audiences (emails, websites, general content).
• When in doubt, choose clarity over correctness—that’s how good writing evolves.

Remember:
Grammar is a tool for communication, not a trap. The best writers know the rules—and break them wisely.

Conclusion

Choosing between who and whom might seem like a tiny grammar challenge, but it can make a big difference in communication—especially in formal or professional contexts. When you truly understand the rules and learn how to apply them with confidence, your writing becomes more polished and natural. Think of it this way: using who and whom correctly shows your respect for language and attention to detail. Whether you’re sending emails to executives, crafting an academic paper, or improving your business tone, knowing the structure, context, and usage will help you transform your work from average to exceptional.

FAQs

1. What is the main difference between “who” and “whom”?

Who is the subject of a sentence (the one doing the action), while whom is the object (the one receiving the action).

2. Is it wrong to use “who” instead of “whom”?

In modern English trends, using who is often accepted in spoken communication. However, in formal writing, it’s better to follow the rule and use whom where required.

3. How can I quickly determine which one to use?

Try replacing the word with he/she or him/her. If he or she fits, use who. If him or her fits, use whom.

4. Why does this rule matter in professional writing?

Correct usage adds respect, clarity, and credibility to your emails, academic pieces, or business documents.

5. How can I improve my understanding of who vs. whom?

Study contextually and semantically correct examples, follow expert guidance, and practice rewriting sentences until the difference becomes second nature.